I--DOWN THE RABBIT-HOLE Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her
sister on the bank, and of having nothing to do. Once or twice she had peeped
into the book her sister was reading, but it had no pictures or conversations in
it, "and what is the use of a book," thought Alice, "without pictures or
conversations?" So she was considering in her own mind (as well as she could,
for the day made her feel very sleepy and stupid), whether the pleasure of
making a daisy-chain would be worth the trouble of getting up and picking the
daisies, when suddenly a White Rabbit with pink eyes ran close by her. There was
nothing so very remarkable in that, nor did Alice think it so very much out of
the way to hear the Rabbit say to itself, "Oh dear! Oh dear! I shall be too
late!" But when the Rabbit actually took a watch out of its waistcoat-pocket and
looked at it and then hurried on, Alice started to her feet, for it flashed
across her mind that she had never before seen a rabbit with either a
waistcoat-pocket, or a watch to take out of it, and, burning with curiosity, she
ran across the field after it and was just in time to see it pop down a large
rabbit-hole, under the hedge. In another moment, down went Alice after it! The
rabbit-hole went straight on like a tunnel for some way and then dipped suddenly
down, so suddenly that Alice had not a moment to think about stopping herself
before she found herself falling down what seemed to be a very deep well. Either
the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly, for she had plenty of time, as
she went down, to look about her. First, she tried to make out what she was
coming to, but it was too dark to see anything; then she looked at the sides of
the well and noticed that they were filled with cupboards and book-shelves; here
and there she saw maps and pictures hung upon pegs. She took down a jar from one
of the shelves as she passed. It was labeled "ORANGE MARMALADE," but, to her
great disappointment, it was empty; she did not like to drop the jar, so managed
to put it into one of the cupboards as she fell past it. Down, down, down! Would
the fall never come to an end? There was nothing else to do, so Alice soon began
talking to herself. "Dinah'll miss me very much to-night, I should think!"
(Dinah was the cat.) "I hope they'll remember her saucer of milk at tea-time.
Dinah, my dear, I wish you were down here with me!" Alice felt that she was
dozing off, when suddenly, thump! thump! down she came upon a heap of sticks and
dry leaves, and the fall was over. Alice was not a bit hurt, and she jumped up
in a moment. She looked up, but it was all dark overhead; before her was another
long passage and the White Rabbit was still in sight, hurrying down it. There
was not a moment to be lost. Away went Alice like the wind and was just in time
to hear it say, as it turned a corner, "Oh, my ears and whiskers, how late it's
getting!" She was close behind it when she turned the corner, but the Rabbit was
no longer to be seen. She found herself in a long, low hall, which was lit up by
a row of lamps hanging from the roof. There were doors all 'round the hall, but
they were all locked; and when Alice had been all the way down one side and up
the other, trying every door, she walked sadly down the middle, wondering how
she was ever to get out again. Suddenly she came upon a little table, all made
of solid glass. There was nothing on it but a tiny golden key, and Alice's first
idea was that this might belong to one of the doors of the hall; but, alas!
either the locks were too large, or the key was too small, but, at any rate, it
would not open any of them. However, on the second time 'round, she came upon a
low curtain she had not noticed before, and behind it was a little door about
fifteen inches high. She tried the little golden key in the lock, and to her
great delight, it fitted! Alice opened the door and found that it led into a
small passage, not much larger than a rat-hole; she knelt down and looked along
the passage into the loveliest garden you ever saw. How she longed to get out of
that dark hall and wander about among those beds of bright flowers and those
cool fountains, but she could not even get her head through the doorway. "Oh,"
said Alice, "how I wish I could shut up like a telescope! I think I could, if I
only knew how to begin." Alice went back to the table, half hoping she might
find another key on it, or at any rate, a book of rules for shutting people up
like telescopes. This time she found a little bottle on it ("which certainly was
not here before," said Alice), and tied 'round the neck of the bottle was a
paper label, with the words "DRINK ME" beautifully printed on it in large
letters. "No, I'll look first," she said, "and see whether it's marked
'_poison_' or not," for she had never forgotten that, if you drink from a bottle
marked "poison," it is almost certain to disagree with you, sooner or later.
However, this bottle was _not_ marked "poison," so Alice ventured to taste it,
and, finding it very nice (it had a sort of mixed flavor of cherry-tart,
custard, pineapple, roast turkey, toffy and hot buttered toast), she very soon
finished it off. * * * * * "What a curious feeling!" said Alice. "I must be
shutting up like a telescope!" And so it was indeed! She was now only ten inches
high, and her face brightened up at the thought that she was now the right size
for going through the little door into that lovely garden. After awhile, finding
that nothing more happened, she decided on going into the garden at once; but,
alas for poor Alice! When she got to the door, she found she had forgotten the
little golden key, and when she went back to the table for it, she found she
could not possibly reach it: she could see it quite plainly through the glass
and she tried her best to climb up one of the legs of the table, but it was too
slippery, and when she had tired herself out with trying, the poor little thing
sat down and cried. "Come, there's no use in crying like that!" said Alice to
herself rather sharply. "I advise you to leave off this minute!" She generally
gave herself very good advice (though she very seldom followed it), and
sometimes she scolded herself so severely as to bring tears into her eyes. Soon
her eye fell on a little glass box that was lying under the table: she opened it
and found in it a very small cake, on which the words "EAT ME" were beautifully
marked in currants. "Well, I'll eat it," said Alice, "and if it makes me grow
larger, I can reach the key; and if it makes me grow smaller, I can creep under
the door: so either way I'll get into the garden, and I don't care which
happens!" She ate a little bit and said anxiously to herself, "Which way? Which
way?" holding her hand on the top of her head to feel which way she was growing;
and she was quite surprised to find that she remained the same size. So she set
to work and very soon finished off the cake. II--THE POOL OF TEARS "Curiouser
and curiouser!" cried Alice (she was so much surprised that for the moment she
quite forgot how to speak good English). "Now I'm opening out like the largest
telescope that ever was! Good-by, feet! Oh, my poor little feet, I wonder who
will put on your shoes and stockings for you now, dears? I shall be a great deal
too far off to trouble myself about you." Just at this moment her head struck
against the roof of the hall; in fact, she was now rather more than nine feet
high, and she at once took up the little golden key and hurried off to the
garden door. Poor Alice! It was as much as she could do, lying down on one side,
to look through into the garden with one eye; but to get through was more
hopeless than ever. She sat down and began to cry again. She went on shedding
gallons of tears, until there was a large pool all 'round her and reaching half
down the hall. After a time, she heard a little pattering of feet in the
distance and she hastily dried her eyes to see what was coming. It was the White
Rabbit returning, splendidly dressed, with a pair of white kid-gloves in one
hand and a large fan in the other. He came trotting along in a great hurry,
muttering to himself, "Oh! the Duchess, the Duchess! Oh! _won't_ she be savage
if I've kept her waiting!" When the Rabbit came near her, Alice began, in a low,
timid voice, "If you please, sir--" The Rabbit started violently, dropped the
white kid-gloves and the fan and skurried away into the darkness as hard as he
could go. Alice took up the fan and gloves and she kept fanning herself all the
time she went on talking. "Dear, dear! How queer everything is to-day! And
yesterday things went on just as usual. _Was_ I the same when I got up this
morning? But if I'm not the same, the next question is, 'Who in the world am I?'
Ah, _that's_ the great puzzle!" As she said this, she looked down at her hands
and was surprised to see that she had put on one of the Rabbit's little white
kid-gloves while she was talking. "How _can_ I have done that?" she thought. "I
must be growing small again." She got up and went to the table to measure
herself by it and found that she was now about two feet high and was going on
shrinking rapidly. She soon found out that the cause of this was the fan she was
holding and she dropped it hastily, just in time to save herself from shrinking
away altogether. "That _was_ a narrow escape!" said Alice, a good deal
frightened at the sudden change, but very glad to find herself still in
existence. "And now for the garden!" And she ran with all speed back to the
little door; but, alas! the little door was shut again and the little golden key
was lying on the glass table as before. "Things are worse than ever," thought
the poor child, "for I never was so small as this before, never!" As she said
these words, her foot slipped, and in another moment, splash! she was up to her
chin in salt-water. Her first idea was that she had somehow fallen into the sea.
However, she soon made out that she was in the pool of tears which she had wept
when she was nine feet high. Just then she heard something splashing about in
the pool a little way off, and she swam nearer to see what it was: she soon made
out that it was only a mouse that had slipped in like herself. "Would it be of
any use, now," thought Alice, "to speak to this mouse? Everything is so
out-of-the-way down here that I should think very likely it can talk; at any
rate, there's no harm in trying." So she began, "O Mouse, do you know the way
out of this pool? I am very tired of swimming about here, O Mouse!" The Mouse
looked at her rather inquisitively and seemed to her to wink with one of its
little eyes, but it said nothing. "Perhaps it doesn't understand English,"
thought Alice. "I dare say it's a French mouse, come over with William the
Conqueror." So she began again: "OÃ¹ est ma chatte?" which was the first
sentence in her French lesson-book. The Mouse gave a sudden leap out of the
water and seemed to quiver all over with fright. "Oh, I beg your pardon!" cried
Alice hastily, afraid that she had hurt the poor animal's feelings. "I quite
forgot you didn't like cats." "Not like cats!" cried the Mouse in a shrill,
passionate voice. "Would _you_ like cats, if you were me?" "Well, perhaps not,"
said Alice in a soothing tone; "don't be angry about it. And yet I wish I could
show you our cat Dinah. I think you'd take a fancy to cats, if you could only
see her. She is such a dear, quiet thing." The Mouse was bristling all over and
she felt certain it must be really offended. "We won't talk about her any more,
if you'd rather not." "We, indeed!" cried the Mouse, who was trembling down to
the end of its tail. "As if _I_ would talk on such a subject! Our family always
_hated_ cats--nasty, low, vulgar things! Don't let me hear the name again!" "I
won't indeed!" said Alice, in a great hurry to change the subject of
conversation. "Are you--are you fond--of--of dogs? There is such a nice little
dog near our house, I should like to show you! It kills all the rats and--oh,
dear!" cried Alice in a sorrowful tone. "I'm afraid I've offended it again!" For
the Mouse was swimming away from her as hard as it could go, and making quite a
commotion in the pool as it went. So she called softly after it, "Mouse dear! Do
come back again, and we won't talk about cats, or dogs either, if you don't like
them!" When the Mouse heard this, it turned 'round and swam slowly back to her;
its face was quite pale, and it said, in a low, trembling voice, "Let us get to
the shore and then I'll tell you my history and you'll understand why it is I
hate cats and dogs." It was high time to go, for the pool was getting quite
crowded with the birds and animals that had fallen into it; there were a Duck
and a Dodo, a Lory and an Eaglet, and several other curious creatures. Alice led
the way and the whole party swam to the shore. III--A CAUCUS-RACE AND A LONG
TALE They were indeed a queer-looking party that assembled on the bank--the
birds with draggled feathers, the animals with their fur clinging close to them,
and all dripping wet, cross and uncomfortable. The first question, of course,
was how to get dry again. They had a consultation about this and after a few
minutes, it seemed quite natural to Alice to find herself talking familiarly
with them, as if she had known them all her life. At last the Mouse, who seemed
to be a person of some authority among them, called out, "Sit down, all of you,
and listen to me! _I'll_ soon make you dry enough!" They all sat down at once,
in a large ring, with the Mouse in the middle. "Ahem!" said the Mouse with an
important air. "Are you all ready? This is the driest thing I know. Silence all
'round, if you please! 'William the Conqueror, whose cause was favored by the
pope, was soon submitted to by the English, who wanted leaders, and had been of
late much accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Edwin and Morcar, the Earls of
Mercia and Northumbria'--" "Ugh!" said the Lory, with a shiver. "--'And even
Stigand, the patriotic archbishop of Canterbury, found it advisable'--" "Found
_what_?" said the Duck. "Found _it_," the Mouse replied rather crossly; "of
course, you know what 'it' means." "I know what 'it' means well enough, when _I_
find a thing," said the Duck; "it's generally a frog or a worm. The question is,
what did the archbishop find?" The Mouse did not notice this question, but
hurriedly went on, "'--found it advisable to go with Edgar Atheling to meet
William and offer him the crown.'--How are you getting on now, my dear?" it
continued, turning to Alice as it spoke. "As wet as ever," said Alice in a
melancholy tone; "it doesn't seem to dry me at all." "In that case," said the
Dodo solemnly, rising to its feet, "I move that the meeting adjourn, for the
immediate adoption of more energetic remedies--" "Speak English!" said the
Eaglet. "I don't know the meaning of half those long words, and, what's more, I
don't believe you do either!" "What I was going to say," said the Dodo in an
offended tone, "is that the best thing to get us dry would be a Caucus-race."
"What _is_ a Caucus-race?" said Alice. "Why," said the Dodo, "the best way to
explain it is to do it." First it marked out a race-course, in a sort of circle,
and then all the party were placed along the course, here and there. There was
no "One, two, three and away!" but they began running when they liked and left
off when they liked, so that it was not easy to know when the race was over.
However, when they had been running half an hour or so and were quite dry again,
the Dodo suddenly called out, "The race is over!" and they all crowded 'round
it, panting and asking, "But who has won?" This question the Dodo could not
answer without a great deal of thought. At last it said, "_Everybody_ has won,
and _all_ must have prizes." "But who is to give the prizes?" quite a chorus of
voices asked. "Why, _she_, of course," said the Dodo, pointing to Alice with one
finger; and the whole party at once crowded 'round her, calling out, in a
confused way, "Prizes! Prizes!" Alice had no idea what to do, and in despair she
put her hand into her pocket and pulled out a box of comfits (luckily the
salt-water had not got into it) and handed them 'round as prizes. There was
exactly one a-piece, all 'round. The next thing was to eat the comfits; this
caused some noise and confusion, as the large birds complained that they could
not taste theirs, and the small ones choked and had to be patted on the back.
However, it was over at last and they sat down again in a ring and begged the
Mouse to tell them something more. "You promised to tell me your history, you
know," said Alice, "and why it is you hate--C and D," she added in a whisper,
half afraid that it would be offended again. "Mine is a long and a sad tale!"
said the Mouse, turning to Alice and sighing. "It _is_ a long tail, certainly,"
said Alice, looking down with wonder at the Mouse's tail, "but why do you call
it sad?" And she kept on puzzling about it while the Mouse was speaking, so that
her idea of the tale was something like this:-- "Fury said to a mouse, That he
met in the house, 'Let us both go to law: _I_ will prosecute _you_.-- Come, I'll
take no denial: We must have the trial; For really this morning I've nothing to
do.' Said the mouse to the cur, 'Such a trial, dear sir, With no jury or judge,
would be wasting our breath.' 'I'll be judge, I'll be jury,' said cunning old
Fury; 'I'll try the whole cause, and condemn you to death.'" "You are not
attending!" said the Mouse to Alice, severely. "What are you thinking of?" "I
beg your pardon," said Alice very humbly, "you had got to the fifth bend, I
think?" "You insult me by talking such nonsense!" said the Mouse, getting up and
walking away. "Please come back and finish your story!" Alice called after it.
And the others all joined in chorus, "Yes, please do!" But the Mouse only shook
its head impatiently and walked a little quicker. "I wish I had Dinah, our cat,
here!" said Alice. This caused a remarkable sensation among the party. Some of
the birds hurried off at once, and a Canary called out in a trembling voice, to
its children, "Come away, my dears! It's high time you were all in bed!" On
various pretexts they all moved off and Alice was soon left alone. "I wish I
hadn't mentioned Dinah! Nobody seems to like her down here and I'm sure she's
the best cat in the world!" Poor Alice began to cry again, for she felt very
lonely and low-spirited. In a little while, however, she again heard a little
pattering of footsteps in the distance and she looked up eagerly. IV--THE RABBIT
SENDS IN A LITTLE BILL It was the White Rabbit, trotting slowly back again and
looking anxiously about as it went, as if it had lost something; Alice heard it
muttering to itself, "The Duchess! The Duchess! Oh, my dear paws! Oh, my fur and
whiskers! She'll get me executed, as sure as ferrets are ferrets! Where _can_ I
have dropped them, I wonder?" Alice guessed in a moment that it was looking for
the fan and the pair of white kid-gloves and she very good-naturedly began
hunting about for them, but they were nowhere to be seen--everything seemed to
have changed since her swim in the pool, and the great hall, with the glass
table and the little door, had vanished completely. Very soon the Rabbit noticed
Alice, and called to her, in an angry tone, "Why, Mary Ann, what _are_ you doing
out here? Run home this moment and fetch me a pair of gloves and a fan! Quick,
now!" "He took me for his housemaid!" said Alice, as she ran off. "How surprised
he'll be when he finds out who I am!" As she said this, she came upon a neat
little house, on the door of which was a bright brass plate with the name "W.
RABBIT" engraved upon it. She went in without knocking and hurried upstairs, in
great fear lest she should meet the real Mary Ann and be turned out of the house
before she had found the fan and gloves. By this time, Alice had found her way
into a tidy little room with a table in the window, and on it a fan and two or
three pairs of tiny white kid-gloves; she took up the fan and a pair of the
gloves and was just going to leave the room, when her eyes fell upon a little
bottle that stood near the looking-glass. She uncorked it and put it to her
lips, saying to herself, "I do hope it'll make me grow large again, for, really,
I'm quite tired of being such a tiny little thing!" Before she had drunk half
the bottle, she found her head pressing against the ceiling, and had to stoop to
save her neck from being broken. She hastily put down the bottle, remarking,
"That's quite enough--I hope I sha'n't grow any more." Alas! It was too late to
wish that! She went on growing and growing and very soon she had to kneel down
on the floor. Still she went on growing, and, as a last resource, she put one
arm out of the window and one foot up the chimney, and said to herself, "Now I
can do no more, whatever happens. What _will_ become of me?" Luckily for Alice,
the little magic bottle had now had its full effect and she grew no larger.
After a few minutes she heard a voice outside and stopped to listen. "Mary Ann!
Mary Ann!" said the voice. "Fetch me my gloves this moment!" Then came a little
pattering of feet on the stairs. Alice knew it was the Rabbit coming to look for
her and she trembled till she shook the house, quite forgetting that she was now
about a thousand times as large as the Rabbit and had no reason to be afraid of
it. Presently the Rabbit came up to the door and tried to open it; but as the
door opened inwards and Alice's elbow was pressed hard against it, that attempt
proved a failure. Alice heard it say to itself, "Then I'll go 'round and get in
at the window." "_That_ you won't!" thought Alice; and after waiting till she
fancied she heard the Rabbit just under the window, she suddenly spread out her
hand and made a snatch in the air. She did not get hold of anything, but she
heard a little shriek and a fall and a crash of broken glass, from which she
concluded that it was just possible it had fallen into a cucumber-frame or
something of that sort. Next came an angry voice--the Rabbit's--"Pat! Pat! Where
are you?" And then a voice she had never heard before, "Sure then, I'm here!
Digging for apples, yer honor!" "Here! Come and help me out of this! Now tell
me, Pat, what's that in the window?" "Sure, it's an arm, yer honor!" "Well, it's
got no business there, at any rate; go and take it away!" There was a long
silence after this and Alice could only hear whispers now and then, and at last
she spread out her hand again and made another snatch in the air. This time
there were _two_ little shrieks and more sounds of broken glass. "I wonder what
they'll do next!" thought Alice. "As for pulling me out of the window, I only
wish they _could_!" She waited for some time without hearing anything more. At
last came a rumbling of little cart-wheels and the sound of a good many voices
all talking together. She made out the words: "Where's the other ladder? Bill's
got the other--Bill! Here, Bill! Will the roof bear?--Who's to go down the
chimney?--Nay, _I_ sha'n't! _You_ do it! Here, Bill! The master says you've got
to go down the chimney!" Alice drew her foot as far down the chimney as she
could and waited till she heard a little animal scratching and scrambling about
in the chimney close above her; then she gave one sharp kick and waited to see
what would happen next. The first thing she heard was a general chorus of "There
goes Bill!" then the Rabbit's voice alone--"Catch him, you by the hedge!" Then
silence and then another confusion of voices--"Hold up his head--Brandy
now--Don't choke him--What happened to you?" Last came a little feeble,
squeaking voice, "Well, I hardly know--No more, thank ye. I'm better now--all I
know is, something comes at me like a Jack-in-the-box and up I goes like a
sky-rocket!" After a minute or two of silence, they began moving about again,
and Alice heard the Rabbit say, "A barrowful will do, to begin with." "A
barrowful of _what_?" thought Alice. But she had not long to doubt, for the next
moment a shower of little pebbles came rattling in at the window and some of
them hit her in the face. Alice noticed, with some surprise, that the pebbles
were all turning into little cakes as they lay on the floor and a bright idea
came into her head. "If I eat one of these cakes," she thought, "it's sure to
make _some_ change in my size." So she swallowed one of the cakes and was
delighted to find that she began shrinking directly. As soon as she was small
enough to get through the door, she ran out of the house and found quite a crowd
of little animals and birds waiting outside. They all made a rush at Alice the
moment she appeared, but she ran off as hard as she could and soon found herself
safe in a thick wood. "The first thing I've got to do," said Alice to herself,
as she wandered about in the wood, "is to grow to my right size again; and the
second thing is to find my way into that lovely garden. I suppose I ought to eat
or drink something or other, but the great question is 'What?'" Alice looked all
around her at the flowers and the blades of grass, but she could not see
anything that looked like the right thing to eat or drink under the
circumstances. There was a large mushroom growing near her, about the same
height as herself. She stretched herself up on tiptoe and peeped over the edge
and her eyes immediately met those of a large blue caterpillar, that was sitting
on the top, with its arms folded, quietly smoking a long hookah and taking not
the smallest notice of her or of anything else. V--ADVICE FROM A CATERPILLAR At
last the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth and addressed Alice in a
languid, sleepy voice. "Who are _you_?" said the Caterpillar. Alice replied,
rather shyly, "I--I hardly know, sir, just at present--at least I know who I
_was_ when I got up this morning, but I think I must have changed several times
since then." "What do you mean by that?" said the Caterpillar, sternly. "Explain
yourself!" "I can't explain _myself_, I'm afraid, sir," said Alice, "because I'm
not myself, you see--being so many different sizes in a day is very confusing."
She drew herself up and said very gravely, "I think you ought to tell me who
_you_ are, first." "Why?" said the Caterpillar. As Alice could not think of any
good reason and the Caterpillar seemed to be in a _very_ unpleasant state of
mind, she turned away. "Come back!" the Caterpillar called after her. "I've
something important to say!" Alice turned and came back again. "Keep your
temper," said the Caterpillar. "Is that all?" said Alice, swallowing down her
anger as well as she could. "No," said the Caterpillar. It unfolded its arms,
took the hookah out of its mouth again, and said, "So you think you're changed,
do you?" "I'm afraid, I am, sir," said Alice. "I can't remember things as I
used--and I don't keep the same size for ten minutes together!" "What size do
you want to be?" asked the Caterpillar. "Oh, I'm not particular as to size,"
Alice hastily replied, "only one doesn't like changing so often, you know. I
should like to be a _little_ larger, sir, if you wouldn't mind," said Alice.
"Three inches is such a wretched height to be." "It is a very good height
indeed!" said the Caterpillar angrily, rearing itself upright as it spoke (it
was exactly three inches high). In a minute or two, the Caterpillar got down off
the mushroom and crawled away into the grass, merely remarking, as it went, "One
side will make you grow taller, and the other side will make you grow shorter."
"One side of _what_? The other side of _what_?" thought Alice to herself. "Of
the mushroom," said the Caterpillar, just as if she had asked it aloud; and in
another moment, it was out of sight. Alice remained looking thoughtfully at the
mushroom for a minute, trying to make out which were the two sides of it. At
last she stretched her arms 'round it as far as they would go, and broke off a
bit of the edge with each hand. "And now which is which?" she said to herself,
and nibbled a little of the right-hand bit to try the effect. The next moment
she felt a violent blow underneath her chin--it had struck her foot! She was a
good deal frightened by this very sudden change, as she was shrinking rapidly;
so she set to work at once to eat some of the other bit. Her chin was pressed so
closely against her foot that there was hardly room to open her mouth; but she
did it at last and managed to swallow a morsel of the left-hand bit.... "Come,
my head's free at last!" said Alice; but all she could see, when she looked
down, was an immense length of neck, which seemed to rise like a stalk out of a
sea of green leaves that lay far below her. "Where _have_ my shoulders got to?
And oh, my poor hands, how is it I can't see you?" She was delighted to find
that her neck would bend about easily in any direction, like a serpent. She had
just succeeded in curving it down into a graceful zigzag and was going to dive
in among the leaves, when a sharp hiss made her draw back in a hurry--a large
pigeon had flown into her face and was beating her violently with its wings.
"Serpent!" cried the Pigeon. "I'm _not_ a serpent!" said Alice indignantly. "Let
me alone!" "I've tried the roots of trees, and I've tried banks, and I've tried
hedges," the Pigeon went on, "but those serpents! There's no pleasing them!"
Alice was more and more puzzled. "As if it wasn't trouble enough hatching the
eggs," said the Pigeon, "but I must be on the look-out for serpents, night and
day! And just as I'd taken the highest tree in the wood," continued the Pigeon,
raising its voice to a shriek, "and just as I was thinking I should be free of
them at last, they must needs come wriggling down from the sky! Ugh, Serpent!"
"But I'm _not_ a serpent, I tell you!" said Alice. "I'm a--I'm a--I'm a little
girl," she added rather doubtfully, as she remembered the number of changes she
had gone through that day. "You're looking for eggs, I know _that_ well enough,"
said the Pigeon; "and what does it matter to me whether you're a little girl or
a serpent?" "It matters a good deal to _me_," said Alice hastily; "but I'm not
looking for eggs, as it happens, and if I was, I shouldn't want _yours_--I don't
like them raw." "Well, be off, then!" said the Pigeon in a sulky tone, as it
settled down again into its nest. Alice crouched down among the trees as well as
she could, for her neck kept getting entangled among the branches, and every now
and then she had to stop and untwist it. After awhile she remembered that she
still held the pieces of mushroom in her hands, and she set to work very
carefully, nibbling first at one and then at the other, and growing sometimes
taller and sometimes shorter, until she had succeeded in bringing herself down
to her usual height. It was so long since she had been anything near the right
size that it felt quite strange at first. "The next thing is to get into that
beautiful garden--how _is_ that to be done, I wonder?" As she said this, she
came suddenly upon an open place, with a little house in it about four feet
high. "Whoever lives there," thought Alice, "it'll never do to come upon them
_this_ size; why, I should frighten them out of their wits!" She did not venture
to go near the house till she had brought herself down to nine inches high.
VI--PIG AND PEPPER For a minute or two she stood looking at the house, when
suddenly a footman in livery came running out of the wood (judging by his face
only, she would have called him a fish)--and rapped loudly at the door with his
knuckles. It was opened by another footman in livery, with a round face and
large eyes like a frog. The Fish-Footman began by producing from under his arm a
great letter, and this he handed over to the other, saying, in a solemn tone,
"For the Duchess. An invitation from the Queen to play croquet." The
Frog-Footman repeated, in the same solemn tone, "From the Queen. An invitation
for the Duchess to play croquet." Then they both bowed low and their curls got
entangled together. When Alice next peeped out, the Fish-Footman was gone, and
the other was sitting on the ground near the door, staring stupidly up into the
sky. Alice went timidly up to the door and knocked. "There's no sort of use in
knocking," said the Footman, "and that for two reasons. First, because I'm on
the same side of the door as you are; secondly, because they're making such a
noise inside, no one could possibly hear you." And certainly there _was_ a most
extraordinary noise going on within--a constant howling and sneezing, and every
now and then a great crash, as if a dish or kettle had been broken to pieces.
"How am I to get in?" asked Alice. "_Are_ you to get in at all?" said the
Footman. "That's the first question, you know." Alice opened the door and went
in. The door led right into a large kitchen, which was full of smoke from one
end to the other; the Duchess was sitting on a three-legged stool in the middle,
nursing a baby; the cook was leaning over the fire, stirring a large caldron
which seemed to be full of soup. "There's certainly too much pepper in that
soup!" Alice said to herself, as well as she could for sneezing. Even the
Duchess sneezed occasionally; and as for the baby, it was sneezing and howling
alternately without a moment's pause. The only two creatures in the kitchen that
did _not_ sneeze were the cook and a large cat, which was grinning from ear to
ear. "Please would you tell me," said Alice, a little timidly, "why your cat
grins like that?" "It's a Cheshire-Cat," said the Duchess, "and that's why." "I
didn't know that Cheshire-Cats always grinned; in fact, I didn't know that cats
_could_ grin," said Alice. "You don't know much," said the Duchess, "and that's
a fact." Just then the cook took the caldron of soup off the fire, and at once
set to work throwing everything within her reach at the Duchess and the
baby--the fire-irons came first; then followed a shower of saucepans, plates and
dishes. The Duchess took no notice of them, even when they hit her, and the baby
was howling so much already that it was quite impossible to say whether the
blows hurt it or not. "Oh, _please_ mind what you're doing!" cried Alice,
jumping up and down in an agony of terror. "Here! You may nurse it a bit, if you
like!" the Duchess said to Alice, flinging the baby at her as she spoke. "I must
go and get ready to play croquet with the Queen," and she hurried out of the
room. Alice caught the baby with some difficulty, as it was a queer-shaped
little creature and held out its arms and legs in all directions. "If I don't
take this child away with me," thought Alice, "they're sure to kill it in a day
or two. Wouldn't it be murder to leave it behind?" She said the last words out
loud and the little thing grunted in reply. "If you're going to turn into a pig,
my dear," said Alice, "I'll have nothing more to do with you. Mind now!" Alice
was just beginning to think to herself, "Now, what am I to do with this
creature, when I get it home?" when it grunted again so violently that Alice
looked down into its face in some alarm. This time there could be _no_ mistake
about it--it was neither more nor less than a pig; so she set the little
creature down and felt quite relieved to see it trot away quietly into the wood.
Alice was a little startled by seeing the Cheshire-Cat sitting on a bough of a
tree a few yards off. The Cat only grinned when it saw her. "Cheshire-Puss,"
began Alice, rather timidly, "would you please tell me which way I ought to go
from here?" "In _that_ direction," the Cat said, waving the right paw 'round,
"lives a Hatter; and in _that_ direction," waving the other paw, "lives a March
Hare. Visit either you like; they're both mad." "But I don't want to go among
mad people," Alice remarked. "Oh, you can't help that," said the Cat; "we're all
mad here. Do you play croquet with the Queen to-day?" "I should like it very
much," said Alice, "but I haven't been invited yet." "You'll see me there," said
the Cat, and vanished. Alice had not gone much farther before she came in sight
of the house of the March Hare; it was so large a house that she did not like to
go near till she had nibbled some more of the left-hand bit of mushroom. VII--A
MAD TEA-PARTY There was a table set out under a tree in front of the house, and
the March Hare and the Hatter were having tea at it; a Dormouse was sitting
between them, fast asleep. The table was a large one, but the three were all
crowded together at one corner of it. "No room! No room!" they cried out when
they saw Alice coming. "There's _plenty_ of room!" said Alice indignantly, and
she sat down in a large arm-chair at one end of the table. The Hatter opened his
eyes very wide on hearing this, but all he said was "Why is a raven like a
writing-desk?" "I'm glad they've begun asking riddles--I believe I can guess
that," she added aloud. "Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer
to it?" said the March Hare. "Exactly so," said Alice. "Then you should say what
you mean," the March Hare went on. "I do," Alice hastily replied; "at least--at
least I mean what I say--that's the same thing, you know." "You might just as
well say," added the Dormouse, which seemed to be talking in its sleep, "that 'I
breathe when I sleep' is the same thing as 'I sleep when I breathe!'" "It _is_
the same thing with you," said the Hatter, and he poured a little hot tea upon
its nose. The Dormouse shook its head impatiently and said, without opening its
eyes, "Of course, of course; just what I was going to remark myself." "Have you
guessed the riddle yet?" the Hatter said, turning to Alice again. "No, I give it
up," Alice replied. "What's the answer?" "I haven't the slightest idea," said
the Hatter. "Nor I," said the March Hare. Alice gave a weary sigh. "I think you
might do something better with the time," she said, "than wasting it in asking
riddles that have no answers." "Take some more tea," the March Hare said to
Alice, very earnestly. "I've had nothing yet," Alice replied in an offended
tone, "so I can't take more." "You mean you can't take _less_," said the Hatter;
"it's very easy to take _more_ than nothing." At this, Alice got up and walked
off. The Dormouse fell asleep instantly and neither of the others took the least
notice of her going, though she looked back once or twice; the last time she saw
them, they were trying to put the Dormouse into the tea-pot. "At any rate, I'll
never go _there_ again!" said Alice, as she picked her way through the wood.
"It's the stupidest tea-party I ever was at in all my life!" Just as she said
this, she noticed that one of the trees had a door leading right into it.
"That's very curious!" she thought. "I think I may as well go in at once." And
in she went. Once more she found herself in the long hall and close to the
little glass table. Taking the little golden key, she unlocked the door that led
into the garden. Then she set to work nibbling at the mushroom (she had kept a
piece of it in her pocket) till she was about a foot high; then she walked down
the little passage; and _then_--she found herself at last in the beautiful
garden, among the bright flower-beds and the cool fountains. VIII--THE QUEEN'S
CROQUET GROUND A large rose-tree stood near the entrance of the garden; the
roses growing on it were white, but there were three gardeners at it, busily
painting them red. Suddenly their eyes chanced to fall upon Alice, as she stood
watching them. "Would you tell me, please," said Alice, a little timidly, "why
you are painting those roses?" Five and Seven said nothing, but looked at Two.
Two began, in a low voice, "Why, the fact is, you see, Miss, this here ought to
have been a _red_ rose-tree, and we put a white one in by mistake; and, if the
Queen was to find it out, we should all have our heads cut off, you know. So you
see, Miss, we're doing our best, afore she comes, to--" At this moment, Five,
who had been anxiously looking across the garden, called out, "The Queen! The
Queen!" and the three gardeners instantly threw themselves flat upon their
faces. There was a sound of many footsteps and Alice looked 'round, eager to see
the Queen. First came ten soldiers carrying clubs, with their hands and feet at
the corners: next the ten courtiers; these were ornamented all over with
diamonds. After these came the royal children; there were ten of them, all
ornamented with hearts. Next came the guests, mostly Kings and Queens, and among
them Alice recognized the White Rabbit. Then followed the Knave of Hearts,
carrying the King's crown on a crimson velvet cushion; and last of all this
grand procession came THE KING AND THE QUEEN OF HEARTS. When the procession came
opposite to Alice, they all stopped and looked at her, and the Queen said
severely, "Who is this?" She said it to the Knave of Hearts, who only bowed and
smiled in reply. "My name is Alice, so please Your Majesty," said Alice very
politely; but she added to herself, "Why, they're only a pack of cards, after
all!" "Can you play croquet?" shouted the Queen. The question was evidently
meant for Alice. "Yes!" said Alice loudly. "Come on, then!" roared the Queen.
"It's--it's a very fine day!" said a timid voice to Alice. She was walking by
the White Rabbit, who was peeping anxiously into her face. "Very," said Alice.
"Where's the Duchess?" "Hush! Hush!" said the Rabbit. "She's under sentence of
execution." "What for?" said Alice. "She boxed the Queen's ears--" the Rabbit
began. "Get to your places!" shouted the Queen in a voice of thunder, and people
began running about in all directions, tumbling up against each other. However,
they got settled down in a minute or two, and the game began. Alice thought she
had never seen such a curious croquet-ground in her life; it was all ridges and
furrows. The croquet balls were live hedgehogs, and the mallets live flamingos
and the soldiers had to double themselves up and stand on their hands and feet,
to make the arches. The players all played at once, without waiting for turns,
quarrelling all the while and fighting for the hedgehogs; and in a very short
time, the Queen was in a furious passion and went stamping about and shouting,
"Off with his head!" or "Off with her head!" about once in a minute. "They're
dreadfully fond of beheading people here," thought Alice; "the great wonder is
that there's anyone left alive!" She was looking about for some way of escape,
when she noticed a curious appearance in the air. "It's the Cheshire-Cat," she
said to herself; "now I shall have somebody to talk to." "How are you getting
on?" said the Cat. "I don't think they play at all fairly," Alice said, in a
rather complaining tone; "and they all quarrel so dreadfully one can't hear
oneself speak--and they don't seem to have any rules in particular." "How do you
like the Queen?" said the Cat in a low voice. "Not at all," said Alice. Alice
thought she might as well go back and see how the game was going on. So she went
off in search of her hedgehog. The hedgehog was engaged in a fight with another
hedgehog, which seemed to Alice an excellent opportunity for croqueting one of
them with the other; the only difficulty was that her flamingo was gone across
to the other side of the garden, where Alice could see it trying, in a helpless
sort of way, to fly up into a tree. She caught the flamingo and tucked it away
under her arm, that it might not escape again. Just then Alice ran across the
Duchess (who was now out of prison). She tucked her arm affectionately into
Alice's and they walked off together. Alice was very glad to find her in such a
pleasant temper. She was a little startled, however, when she heard the voice of
the Duchess close to her ear. "You're thinking about something, my dear, and
that makes you forget to talk." "The game's going on rather better now," Alice
said, by way of keeping up the conversation a little. "'Tis so," said the
Duchess; "and the moral of that is--'Oh, 'tis love, 'tis love that makes the
world go 'round!'" "Somebody said," Alice whispered, "that it's done by
everybody minding his own business!" "Ah, well! It means much the same thing,"
said the Duchess, digging her sharp little chin into Alice's shoulder, as she
added "and the moral of _that_ is--'Take care of the sense and the sounds will
take care of themselves.'" To Alice's great surprise, the Duchess's arm that was
linked into hers began to tremble. Alice looked up and there stood the Queen in
front of them, with her arms folded, frowning like a thunderstorm! "Now, I give
you fair warning," shouted the Queen, stamping on the ground as she spoke,
"either you or your head must be off, and that in about half no time. Take your
choice!" The Duchess took her choice, and was gone in a moment. "Let's go on
with the game," the Queen said to Alice; and Alice was too much frightened to
say a word, but slowly followed her back to the croquet-ground. All the time
they were playing, the Queen never left off quarreling with the other players
and shouting, "Off with his head!" or "Off with her head!" By the end of half an
hour or so, all the players, except the King, the Queen and Alice, were in
custody of the soldiers and under sentence of execution. Then the Queen left
off, quite out of breath, and walked away with Alice. Alice heard the King say
in a low voice to the company generally, "You are all pardoned." Suddenly the
cry "The Trial's beginning!" was heard in the distance, and Alice ran along with
the others. IX--WHO STOLE THE TARTS? The King and Queen of Hearts were seated on
their throne when they arrived, with a great crowd assembled about them--all
sorts of little birds and beasts, as well as the whole pack of cards: the Knave
was standing before them, in chains, with a soldier on each side to guard him;
and near the King was the White Rabbit, with a trumpet in one hand and a scroll
of parchment in the other. In the very middle of the court was a table, with a
large dish of tarts upon it. "I wish they'd get the trial done," Alice thought,
"and hand 'round the refreshments!" The judge, by the way, was the King and he
wore his crown over his great wig. "That's the jury-box," thought Alice; "and
those twelve creatures (some were animals and some were birds) I suppose they
are the jurors." Just then the White Rabbit cried out "Silence in the court!"
"Herald, read the accusation!" said the King. On this, the White Rabbit blew
three blasts on the trumpet, then unrolled the parchment-scroll and read as
follows: "The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts, All on a summer day; The
Knave of Hearts, he stole those tarts And took them quite away!" "Call the first
witness," said the King; and the White Rabbit blew three blasts on the trumpet
and called out, "First witness!" The first witness was the Hatter. He came in
with a teacup in one hand and a piece of bread and butter in the other. "You
ought to have finished," said the King. "When did you begin?" The Hatter looked
at the March Hare, who had followed him into the court, arm in arm with the
Dormouse. "Fourteenth of March, I _think_ it was," he said. "Give your
evidence," said the King, "and don't be nervous, or I'll have you executed on
the spot." This did not seem to encourage the witness at all; he kept shifting
from one foot to the other, looking uneasily at the Queen, and, in his
confusion, he bit a large piece out of his teacup instead of the bread and
butter. Just at this moment Alice felt a very curious sensation--she was
beginning to grow larger again. The miserable Hatter dropped his teacup and
bread and butter and went down on one knee. "I'm a poor man, Your Majesty," he
began. "You're a _very_ poor _speaker_," said the King. "You may go," said the
King, and the Hatter hurriedly left the court. "Call the next witness!" said the
King. The next witness was the Duchess's cook. She carried the pepper-box in her
hand and the people near the door began sneezing all at once. "Give your
evidence," said the King. "Sha'n't," said the cook. The King looked anxiously at
the White Rabbit, who said, in a low voice, "Your Majesty must cross-examine
_this_ witness." "Well, if I must, I must," the King said. "What are tarts made
of?" "Pepper, mostly," said the cook. For some minutes the whole court was in
confusion and by the time they had settled down again, the cook had disappeared.
"Never mind!" said the King, "call the next witness." Alice watched the White
Rabbit as he fumbled over the list. Imagine her surprise when he read out, at
the top of his shrill little voice, the name "Alice!" X--ALICE'S EVIDENCE
"Here!" cried Alice. She jumped up in such a hurry that she tipped over the
jury-box, upsetting all the jurymen on to the heads of the crowd below. "Oh, I
_beg_ your pardon!" she exclaimed in a tone of great dismay. "The trial cannot
proceed," said the King, "until all the jurymen are back in their proper
places--_all_," he repeated with great emphasis, looking hard at Alice. "What do
you know about this business?" the King said to Alice. "Nothing whatever," said
Alice. The King then read from his book: "Rule forty-two. _All persons more than
a mile high to leave the court_." "_I'm_ not a mile high," said Alice. "Nearly
two miles high," said the Queen. "Well, I sha'n't go, at any rate," said Alice.
The King turned pale and shut his note-book hastily. "Consider your verdict," he
said to the jury, in a low, trembling voice. "There's more evidence to come yet,
please Your Majesty," said the White Rabbit, jumping up in a great hurry. "This
paper has just been picked up. It seems to be a letter written by the prisoner
to--to somebody." He unfolded the paper as he spoke and added, "It isn't a
letter, after all; it's a set of verses." "Please, Your Majesty," said the
Knave, "I didn't write it and they can't prove that I did; there's no name
signed at the end." "You _must_ have meant some mischief, or else you'd have
signed your name like an honest man," said the King. There was a general
clapping of hands at this. "Read them," he added, turning to the White Rabbit.
There was dead silence in the court whilst the White Rabbit read out the verses.
"That's the most important piece of evidence we've heard yet," said the King.
"_I_ don't believe there's an atom of meaning in it," ventured Alice. "If
there's no meaning in it," said the King, "that saves a world of trouble, you
know, as we needn't try to find any. Let the jury consider their verdict." "No,
no!" said the Queen. "Sentence first--verdict afterwards." "Stuff and nonsense!"
said Alice loudly. "The idea of having the sentence first!" "Hold your tongue!"
said the Queen, turning purple. "I won't!" said Alice. "Off with her head!" the
Queen shouted at the top of her voice. Nobody moved. "Who cares for _you_?" said
Alice (she had grown to her full size by this time). "You're nothing but a pack
of cards!" At this, the whole pack rose up in the air and came flying down upon
her; she gave a little scream, half of fright and half of anger, and tried to
beat them off, and found herself lying on the bank, with her head in the lap of
her sister, who was gently brushing away some dead leaves that had fluttered
down from the trees upon her face. "Wake up, Alice dear!" said her sister. "Why,
what a long sleep you've had!" "Oh, I've had such a curious dream!" said Alice.
And she told her sister, as well as she could remember them, all these strange
adventures of hers that you have just been reading about. Alice got up and ran
off, thinking while she ran, as well she might, what a wonderful dream it had
been.